This article is an adapted version of an article originally published on KUZA – an online ministry that develops digital discipleship material for African youth and young adults.
Life is made up of many different seasons. These seasons signify or mark various stages that we experience from cradle to grave. Each season has a significant purpose in our life, as God designs (Ecclesiastes 3:1-11). God ordained these seasons to mould us into who he intends us to be. They can be good or bad experiences, but they are there to remind us that God makes everything beautiful in its own time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Just like the four seasons—winter, summer, spring, and fall—we too have similar seasons: birth, childhood, young adulthood, midlife, retirement, etc. They bring different experiences and complexities to different people.
God makes everything beautiful in its own time.
Our twenties can be challenging. Some friends are married or marrying, others seem to be thriving in their careers, some are getting outstanding accolades academically, many are just trying to start life with the bare minimum, still others have no job or degrees and are wondering what they did wrong. There is immense pressure to have some “achievement” to speak of. It is easy to fall into the temptation of grumbling or discontentment when we compare our lives to others and want what they have.
Comparison Feeds either Pride or Discontentment
I was having a conversation with a friend the other day, evaluating where our lives are at, along with those of our peers. For a long moment, we would look at friends’ lives, as per their social media updates and what we’ve heard from gossip, only to fall into grumbling about where we are at. It was difficult to count our blessings because, I mean, they seem to be doing so much better. Of course, there were also other lives that my friend and I looked down on, feeling better about ourselves.
It is normal for us to look at others’ lives and feel discouraged at the state of our current lives.
My pride and discontentment were thoroughly exposed, as I evaluated that conversation, and I couldn’t help but mourn for the state of my heart. For sure, out of the abundance of our hearts, our mouth speaks (Mathew 12:34). Complaining about my life in comparison with others’ reveals my abundance of discontentment. Similarly, an abundance of pride shows when I see myself doing better than others. It is not ungodly to evaluate the stages of our lives and desire to be in other spaces. However, such evaluation becomes ungodly when it only leaves us discontent or fuels pride.
Every season of our lives comes with its pressures. It is normal for us to look at others’ lives and feel discouraged at the state of our current lives. How then can we evaluate our lives in a godly way? What does scripture say about the seasons of our lives?
Recognise That Seasons Come at Different Times
God ordains the seasons of our lives differently (Acts 17:26), and it pleases him to do so (Psalm 115:3). There is a season for everything on this side of heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 17, 8:6), but they all work and turn out differently for every one of us.
There is a season for everything, but they work out differently for every one of us.
If you are working an unpaid internship and another friend is working a well-paying job, that’s okay. Glorify him in that space. Let not your heart be troubled by the season you are in compared to that of your peers. God changes the season we are in when he is ready to change or reveal something about us. He doesn’t love you any less than he does them. And, no, you did not do anything wrong. It has pleased God that you are in that space, and they are in a different space. Trust the Lord to give you joy in that space as you trust him for what your heart desires.
Treasure God’s Many Blessings
Discontentment denies us the opportunity to be grateful for the blessings God has accorded us. The psalmist calls us to a heart of gratitude, forgetting not all his benefits (Psalm 103:2), because every good and perfect gift comes from Him with no variation (James 1:17).
May we not forget: God owes us nothing.
I love the words of an old hymn, “When you look at others with their lands and gold / Think that Christ has promised you his wealth untold; / Count your many blessings—money cannot buy / Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.” Oh may our hearts spring forth gratitude, as we hope in him. May we not forget: God owes us nothing. Yet it has pleased him to give us everything we have now (Job 41:11).
Lament When it’s Appropriate, with Faith
It is godly to lament. But, dear one, lament before him. We can feel burdened and overwhelmed when we have been waiting on God to fulfil a desire. Sometimes we forget to praise because we feel like our prayers have been in vain. But God listens. He does not condemn us for lamenting, even when we question his “delayed” response. As someone has put it, “Lament is better than not talking to God at all.”
God does not condemn us for lamenting, even when we question his ‘delayed’ response.
Thus we can learn from the psalmist, laying bare the state of his heart and pain. He cries out, “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” (Psalm 13:1). Had the Lord forgotten Him? No! Did God desire that he is filled with sorrow (Psalm 13:2)? No! But that is what the psalmist felt, so he presents his heart to God. But we should not end with lament. For the psalmist continues, presenting a petition to God (Psalm 13:3-4), and trusting in him (Psalm 13:5-6). God is attentive and caring. Our groaning and pain never goes unnoticed.
Whatever the Season, Glorify God
Our seasons of life can and will be different from our peers. So let us remember, our chief end is to glorify God (1 Corinthians 10:31). May we rest in knowing that God cares and has our days ahead perfectly planned out for our good and his glory.
