We all know a person who only comes to church for special events. You know, the lady or gent who you only ever see on the first Sunday of a new year? What about the person who’s attended at Easter for the past five years, but not a single Sunday? Then there’s the Christmas visitors, those who come for the carols. To be clear, I’m not talking about visitors, someone you see for the first time. I’m referring to the family whose last name you know, because if you host an evangelistic event they’re bringing someone. I’m talking about the couple who love market days, but not your church; the young adult who doesn’t miss an event after your church service or the student who attends every games night.
We all know a person who only comes to church for special events.
To be fair, the events only approach to church isn’t limited to Christians. It can also apply to unbelieving friends and family, who only come to church when someone they know is getting baptised, ordained, confirmed or in the event of a bereavement.
The scenarios I’ve mentioned might have got you thinking about an ‘events only Christian’ you know. Below I’d like suggest some of the ways we can lovingly engage with such people.
Starting the Conversation
When you’re talking to the events only Christian, avoid starting the conversation this way: “You haven’t been to church in a while,” or “Am I dreaming? Because you’re here today.” Your intentions might be good. But comments like that are more likely to chase those people away instead of inviting them back. Rather ask: “How has life been since I last saw you?” Phrasing the question like that, shows them that you care about them more than merely their attendance.
Squaring up to the Problem
Avoiding the above doesn’t mean you shouldn’t address the problem. Maybe ask the following: “I’ve noticed that you only come to church when there are events. Could I ask you why that’s so?” As you wait for their answer, make sure you’re listening—not to lure or trap them but to lovingly engage their answer with the truth of scripture. Be prepared to discover more than a simple indifference to the local church. You might discover that the events only Christian is going through a really difficult time; or that they’re avoiding the resolution of conflict with someone else in the congregation; or that they’re fleeing accountability in a certain area of their life.
Suggest meeting over a coffee or at home.
Furthermore, consider making this conversation more informal and less interrogative. If the person is willing to discuss their answer in more detail, you could suggest meeting over a coffee or at home. The point isn’t confrontation but care, concern. Therefore you want to make the situation as unthreatening as possible.
Sharing Encouragement
You also can’t only address the issue. You must offer encouragement. This encouragement will vary, naturally. If they simply don’t prioritise regularly gathering with believers, then remind them of Hebrews 10:24-25. “Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the day drawing near.”
If it’s hardship that’s keeping them away, encourage them with the words of 1 Corinthians 12:26. Remind them, “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honoured, all rejoice together.” Urge them that one of the reasons God gives us the church is so that we might share each other’s burdens (Galatians 6: ). Of course, you should add that this isn’t only possible by being a part of the community.
God cares about his church and therefore our commitment to it.
Maybe you learnt that it’s ongoing sin or shame that’s coming in the way of attending church and behind their preference for the anonymity of events. Remind them that Jesus “came not to call the righteous, but sinners” (Mark 2:17). Furthermore, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).
As you encourage them, guard against Bible-bashing them with the above verses. Infuse your encouragement with God’s truth. Temper it with genuine concern. Ultimately your aim isn’t to strongarm events only Christians into submission, but to persuade them that God cares about his church and therefore our commitment to it.
Pray
Both addressing the problem and encouraging the events only Christian can only have success by the Holy Spirit’s help. Therefore, we should set aside intentional time to pray for this brother or sister. We pray because the devil hates the building up of the body of Christ. He loves to isolate Christ’s sheep. We pray because the devil loathes the idea that God is through the church making known his manifold wisdom to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places (Ephesians 3:10). He hates that.
We pray because the devil hates the building up of the body of Christ.
Finally, the Christian life isn’t a string of events but a life-long journey, lived out among God’s people. The events only believer is missing out, terribly. The Christian life isn’t about events but a person. The Lord Jesus Christ. He’s building his Church, bringing people not only to himself but one another. Therefore the Christian life cannot only be about events, but God’s people and finding our place among them.
