The office of pastor or elder has strict qualifications and requires serious preparation. But it is also precious work, one for which we need much divine grace, perhaps especially when you’re younger. For the office of pastor encompasses not only experienced and mature men but also young ones. We meet an example of the latter in Timothy. To him, Paul comfortingly wrote, “Command and teach these things. Let no one despise your youth, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to reading, to exhortation, to teaching. Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given you through prophecy with the laying on of the hands of the eldership” (1 Timothy 4:11-14).
By sharing some of my mistakes I hope to help you avoid them.
Though referred to as “elders,” pastors might be young. This was the case for me. I entered pastoral ministry when I was very young, in a context full of other young pastors and few experienced, older men. Despite its challenges, I have always loved pastoral ministry. But I also know that I made mistakes. By sharing some of the mistakes I made as a young pastor, I hope to help others avoid them.
1. I Preached Too Many Theologically Heavy Sermons
One of the main tasks in pastoral ministry is preaching. Faithful teaching and exposition of the word requires great dedication from the preacher, including continuous study and prayer. As a pastor, I love studying the scriptures and theology; I find myself constantly reading. But one of my mistakes as a young pastor was in my sermon delivery. It took me time to realise that the theological terms and concepts I had in mind were not known or understood by my congregation.
It is our duty to preach the scriptures with clarity and simplicity.
Young preachers and pastors, like myself, often make this mistake. We think our listeners are familiar with theology and involved in serious private study. But many aren’t; they don’t read the same books or know theological concepts and biblical terms that theologians typically trade in. Therefore, it is our duty to preach the scriptures with clarity and a necessary simplicity, leading our listeners to a greater understanding of God’s word and theology.
2. I Made Major Changes in a Short Period of Time
Most young pastors have changes in mind when they begin, but making big changes in a short period of time was another of my mistakes. Changes are essential. However, time is a critical resource when considering or making changes. Changes won’t always occur as we desire. Some may take several years. We might also realise with time that planned changes are unnecessary.
Some changes may take several years.
In spite of our intended changes—both large and small—we should find great joy in those changes God works among his people as we faithfully serve him. “For it is God who works in you both to will and to act in order to fulfil his good purpose” (Philippians 2:13).
3. I Became Frustrated With Difficult Church Members
Loving your flock means loving everyone—without exception. As pastors, we’re called to love our local church and serve it with love. Of course, not everyone there agrees with the pastor or elders’ decisions and changes. So, on occasion, pastors will have to deal with difficult members. As a young pastor, I made a fairly common ministry mistake: I drew near to and invested in those who always agreed with me and steered clear of those who didn’t. Throughout the early years of my ministry, I realised that by doing this, I wasn’t practising love and forgiveness, or learning patience, towards brothers and sisters who didn’t see eye to eye with me.
Commit to praying with them.
Brothers, don’t give up on members who’re difficult to serve. Commit to praying and pursuing closer fellowship with them.
4. I Was Surprised By All the Disappointments
The local church isn’t perfect. Anyone who belongs to a church knows this. But I mistakenly thought I’d never be disappointed. Pastor, don’t forget that you’re dealing with sinners—like yourself—who are prone to sin. Thus, you may experience sadness and even feel abandoned. Only we must never forget that forgiveness and reconciliation are blessings from heaven, perhaps especially as we serve and fail one another.
You must be merciful. Be a kind and gentle.
It’s not enough to love them. You must be merciful. Always seek reconciliation. Be kind and gentle. As challenging as this may be, it will be very good to cultivate these virtues because they enable us to serve despite disappointment, because the local church is never perfect.
5. I Didn’t Appreciate How Much My Church Loved Me
As pastors, we don’t always realise the deep love our congregation has for us—and for one another. It’s easy to imagine we’re the only ones really pouring ourselves out for the church. But the truth is that many members of your local church love it and its leaders. They do love you, even if that’s not always apparent or stated.
Many members of your local church love it and its leaders.
As a younger pastor, I was going through a difficult time in my personal life and at home. I didn’t say anything, for a while. And I suffered alone. Then I shared my struggle with the church. To my surprise, I saw brothers and sisters crying. They were hurting for me. They rallied to help and sympathise, coming to my house to pray with me and ask how things were going. I never expected that. Young pastor, don’t make the mistake of keeping your personal battles hidden from the church. Remember, you’re loved by them.
6. I Neglected Both My Weaknesses and Struggles
Pastor, you need to take care of yourself, too. Take care of the flock, only don’t neglect your own spiritual life. We can constantly exhort and shepherd the flock, but we must keep in mind that our hearts need similar exhortations.
We mustn’t preach about sanctification without prioritising personal holiness.
Don’t confuse your devotional life with theological studies or sermon preparation. “Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine. Continue in them, for by doing this you will save both yourself and your hearers” (1 Timothy 4:16). Set aside time for your personal devotional. Dedicate time to private prayer. Remember, pastor, putting sinful desires to death is a daily struggle. It’s a constant war. We mustn’t preach about sanctification without prioritising personal holiness. In order to be faithful shepherds, we must constantly look to the Chief Shepherd of the flock (1 Peter 5:1-4).
7. I Didn’t Take Enough Time Off
When you love what you do, vacations can seem unnecessary. As a young pastor, one of my repeated mistakes was failing to rest. I’d work for lengthy periods of time, all the while wrestling physical and emotional exhaustion. Even if you’re young and full of energy, vacations and sabbaticals are crucial if you plan to persevere in ministry. It’s not especially virtuous or noble to work until you’re burnt out. Take breaks. Plan time with your family. Do things you feel like you don’t ever have time for. Take a trip to the countryside. Write that book. Go on vacation.
8. I Spent Too Little Time With My Wife
Reading and writing are inseparable activities in a pastor’s life. When I pick up a new book or start studying a subject, my enthusiasm gushes. I can spend hours a day reading, writing and thinking. But at some point, my wife said that in those periods, it felt like I loved my books more than spending time with her. I was letting things become imbalanced, neglecting my wife in the name of study. After that conversation, I started scheduling reading and study time so I could keep devoting quality time to my wife. She comes first. She must. So, talking to her, being with her, and doing the things she loves is my priority.
9. I Was Always Available
Pastor, sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is go to bed with your wife. Our availability must have limits, especially when we’re at home. Being a full-time pastor doesn’t mean you need to work all the time. I think this is another common mistake among young pastors, partly because they have more energy—not to mention less experience. In the early years of my ministry, I thought I had to answer every call, being available any time, any place. Pastor, you must be there for the flock when they need you. But boundaries are essential for navigating this.
Our availability must have limits, especially when we’re at home.
Yes, you are the shepherd. But you remain a father. A husband. Your family also needs you. Practically, I decided my phone would be off and I’d be unavailable from 7-9 pm every day. This became family time. Precious time. We’d eat dinner together, have conversations, share news, and read or pray together. In order to guard this time, I learnt to manage my work during the day better, so that when my wife returned from work, I could give her the time I’d promised.
10. I Didn’t Have a Strong Enough Network of Friends and Mentors
Pastoral ministry has many joyful moments. But we must never downplay the challenges. The work can be wearying, demanding and discouraging. I didn’t think that would be the case. So I didn’t pursue relationships where I could unburden and get support or guidance.
Pastoral work can be demanding and discouraging.
Young pastor, you need a mentor to walk with you on this journey. You need a shoulder to lean on; a wiser head to learn from. Added to this, you’ll need friends —peers — who’ll be available to pray with you, discuss your challenges, and even hear you repent and confess your sin. Pastors aren’t above temptation or sin. We have our struggles, so we need the sympathy of those who know our weaknesses and love us regardless.
DON’T HAVE PAYPAL TO SET UP A MONTHLY DONATION? If you would like to donate via Payfast – a secure payment gateway available to donors both inside and outside of Africa – please click here.
