Welcome to The Gospel Coalition Africa. My name is Blaque Nubon and in this short video series we’re going to be exploring the truth about love.
The Four Loves
You’ve probably heard or even read C.S Lewis’s four loves. An idea that’s originally not his but in fact it was inspired by the Greek understanding of the distinction between the forms or intensities of love. The Greeks used four words to describe these; Agape, storge, philia and eros. In fact, in this short video series we’re going to be exploring how our culture interacts with this truth called love. And see, and explore various critical expressions of this. But most importantly, what we want to do is hear what the Bible has to say about love.
What Is Love?
And today we’re going to start very broadly and ask, what is love? Love- a choice, a feeling, perhaps some fuzzy kind of excitement towards something or someone. We could have a lifetime’s worth of conversations trying to define what love is. In fact, when we look at history, people have- from artists, theologians, poets and even philosophers. My point is that love has always had a common place in life’s menu and our culture and time are no different. We are still asking the question, what is love? Hopefully by the end of this video we would walk away with a definition of what love is. But before we get there, let’s start here and ask, why does love matter? Dolores Smith a contributor at crosswalk.com writes the following, “From the moment we are conceived, we need love in the form of care and attention, and we continue to need love to thrive from then on.” So, from this we can conclude the following; Whatever we define love to be, our clear obsession with it tells us that it really matters in our lives so much so that without love we cannot live.
Why Does Love Matter?
In fact, life without love cannot be life in the truest form. Well, allow me to elaborate. Sure, we need food, shelter, clothing and even breath to live. But it would seem to me that love gives shape, or form, or even definition to all these other things. Food is more enjoyable when we share a meal with those we love. Breathing stops just becoming a mechanical thing when we’re trying to live for our loved ones. A house that has no love is exactly that- a shelter, and nobody wants to live there if we’re honest. Smith continues to say, “God created the world and everything in it out of love, declaring His creations good – us included!” So, what holds creation together? Gives it shape, depth and meaning? It’s love. And that’s why it matters.
What Love Isn’t
Why love matters might not be that much of a contentious issue for us as much as defining what love is. And here’s why, because defining what love is will then inform us about where to get love. For example, if love is food, then we have to go get it at a grocery store. If love is sex, then we have to go get it from sexual partners. If love is money, then we have to go get it in the marketplace or in our hustle. And this is where we’ve killed ourselves as a society. We have ‘mis defined’ love and as a consequence we have placed unrealistic and burdensome expectations on things and people who cannot and in fact won’t be able to give us the kind of love that we really need to live. As an example, take the popular dating show on Netflix ‘Love Is Blind.’ The premise here is that love is unconditional- meaning that it does not rely on the other person’s appearance to be awakened. All that’s needed is a genuine and pure connection between the two parties and they are set to get married for life. If you’re wondering what this genuine or pure connection is, well it’s a combination of character traits, values, and ambitions. The hope here is that you would meet somebody- that you can’t see by the way, and you speak to over a wall. And as you have conversations with them, that your character traits, values and ambitions will match up with theirs. And from there, you are set to get married for life. At best this is a good ideal but that’s all it is- an ideal. Because in reality, it is irresponsible. As the four out of six relationships that have failed from season one in 2020 have proven. I’m not here to critique the dating culture. But what I’m saying is, that if we define love as blindness, then we will surely look for it in unenlightened ways. And that will only lead us to a lot of misery.
So many love songs
In one way, it’s silly to try and determine how many love songs have ever been recorded in the history of recorded music. But I think it’s good to try and get a sense. And according to google, at least over a hundred million songs about love exist and have been recorded. I would further assume, and I couldn’t find this on google, that a significant portion of these songs probably have the title, ‘What is love?’ A question that really holds a lot of weight for people.
God Is Love
Dolores is helpful once again when she says, “In discussing love, the Bible cuts right to the chase by declaring that: “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” And therein lies our definition of love, God is love. And so, I think, a better or even more accurate question to ask is, who is love? If love is what gives meaning to life, then it’s only right to conclude that a life without love is a life that is void of depth, no form, no meaning and unfortunately no real significance. In essence, that would be a life without God. Take this interaction as an example, I’m speaking, you’re listening, this can only happen if we both agree that there is a standard beyond and above us.
Because why else would I bother speaking and how else would you determine that my thoughts are meaningful enough for you to even consider listening to? There has to be an ultimate standard and that standard is God. Because it is in God and God alone that we find the true definition of what life is. Smith again says, “Considering that God is love and we are made in His image, it’s our responsibility to reflect God’s love in all of our interactions. The bible tells us plainly that when we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” Like I said before, if our definition of love leads us to the place where we can find love, the Bible is clear that God is love, it only stands to reason that in God and God alone can we find the love we need for our lives.
