You most likely clicked on this article looking for respite. Something happened. An embarrassing moment or event has left a sickly writhing in your stomach. There’s a dull ache in your heart. And no distraction keeps the recurring images away for long enough. Embarrassment clings to us tightly. It feels inescapable. Suffocating.
Embarrassment can feel inescapable. Suffocating.
Thankfully there is respite. In God’s word we find life-giving counsel and reprieve. These words don’t merely comforts us, for in his mercy and love God refuses to leave us as we are. So come, all of you who are burdened by your embarrassment (Matthew 11:28-30). Prepare yourself to drink from the fount of life. Facing embarrassment may be painful, but it is necessary, so that we may find rest in the Lord.
Embarrassment as Revelation
Why is embarrassment painful?
Embarrassment reminds us that we aren’t who we imagine or project.
The answer is plain: we see who we really are; and we see that we have truly been worshipping ourselves. We have clung too tightly to who we wish to be and how we wish to appear before others. In other words, we see our pride. We also see that—as our most recent humiliating moment has revealed—we are actually weak, flimsy, false, and feeble. This is much to the dismay and torment of our heart’s pride. We get embarrassed because we’re reminded that we aren’t who we imagine, nor who we project.
Embarrassment reveals our weaknesses and our pride. Digging deeper, in biblical terms, humiliation reveals two of pride’s deepest manifestations:
- Self-exaltation
- The fear of man.
The Remedy to Humiliation
The question is who are we to run? Where can we hide? What is the remedy? How can we rid ourselves of the painful revelations embarrassment provides?
God in his mercy uses even these difficult moments for our good—for our sanctification. Psalm 7 reveals the cure to self-exaltation along with the fear of man; and, consequently, how God can use embarrassment to sanctify us.
1. Admit Your Weakness and Wickedness
O Lord my God, if I have done this,
if there is wrong in my hands,
if I have repaid my friend with evil
or plundered my enemy without cause,
let the enemy pursue my soul and overtake it,
and let him trample my life to the ground
and lay my glory in the dust.
(Psalm 7:3-6)
Humility is the opposite of self-exaltation. It admits weakness openly. David humbly admits his wrongdoing and weakness. He doesn’t hide it. In fact, he submits to God’s judgement of it in full. Why? Because he trusts in the God who is good. He knows that while God will be his judge he will also be his refuge and shield; and that the God of righteousness is also the God of mercy who saves (Psalm 7:1).
David admits his weakness. He doesn’t hide it.
The counsel here for us to confront self-exaltation would be to admit our true feeble human nature. Admit how pride has exalted the image of who we are and who we want to be higher than God himself. From this follows the next cure.
2. Seek Vindication From God Alone
The Lord judges the peoples;
judge me, O Lord, according to my righteousness
and according to the integrity that is in me.
Oh, let the evil of the wicked come to an end,
and may you establish the righteous—
you who test the minds and hearts,
O righteous God!
My shield is with God,
who saves the upright in heart.
God is a righteous judge,
and a God who feels indignation every day.
If a man does not repent, God will whet his sword;
he has bent and readied his bow.
(Psalm 7:8-12)
When we become small and cut down to size, the comfort and healing in our hearts can only come as we turn our eyes to see how much bigger God is than ourselves. Paul makes this point explicitly (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). We can boast in our weakness, writes Paul, because it points to God’s strength for us.
We can boast in our weakness because it points to God’s strength.
Losing esteem in the eyes of man mercifully pushes us to seek the eyes of the one who truly matters: God alone. His vindication and forgiveness are all that can save us and restore our souls. Here lies the cure to fear of man: humble fear of God that drives us to repentance and utter dependence on him. From here he does a marvellous work in us through Christ.
The Merciful Benefits of Embarrassment
In these ways, embarrassment is a mercy because it forces us to reckon with our sinful hearts. It reveals the idol of self and fear of man. In the painful clarity of our weakness, it drives us towards our only true refuge: God. In repentance, our judge is our vindicator, saviour and merciful strength. He uses even the horrible experience of embarrassment for our good and draws us nearer to himself in perfect love.
Embarrassment reveals the idol of self and fear of man.
Humility is an essential trait of the Christian, and God can use humiliation to stoop us down. Not because he treads on us to make himself greater, but because that is exactly how he himself took on flesh (Philippians 2:5-8). Jesus knows humiliation. He lived it far better than we ever could. The root word for both humility and humiliation is the Latin humilis, meaning “lowly”, “humble”, or “grounded”. It is no coincidence that Jesus describes himself in this very way (Matthew 11:29).
God Gives Grace to the Humble
Rejoice! You’re free. You have no more ‘face’ left to save. Indeed, in a rare instance of clarity, you have come face-to-face with yourself in your true form. Now you can get on with the real business of life: humbly asking what God wants of you. We can only really ask this question with the right heart-posture—when we lie prostrate at his feet in painful awareness of our weakness and lowliness.
In his goodness, God humbles us so that he may in due time exalt us.
Rejoice! For even this humiliating moment is achieving glory and good for you beyond your comprehension. In the hands of God, the pain of embarrassment can make you more like Jesus. Your good Father has made a promise. He is working all things out for your good, even the suffering (Romans 8:28-30). And God never breaks his promises (2 Corinthians 1:20; Joshua 21:45; Psalm 145:13; Hebrews 10:23).
Rejoice! All he asks from you is your weakness. Indeed, our humiliation reveals that our weakness is all we have to give. By his mercy, it is all he needs (2 Corinthians 12:9). And somehow, in his goodness, he humbles us so that he may in due time exalt us (James 4:10; Proverbs 18:12; 1 Peter 5:6).
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