In February 2020, I preached on Paul’s letter to Philemon at Grace Bible Church in Lilongwe. At that time, Malawi was in a state of political tension. The Constitutional Court had just overturned the 2019 election. While some rejoiced, others felt robbed. Anger and calls for revenge erupted. That moment reminded me of how easily we seek revenge when wronged. But Paul’s short letter to Philemon offers a better path, one in which the gospel of Jesus Christ encourages us to forgive those who hurt us. This will be shown in three ways.
We Forgive Because We Have Been Forgiven
Many of us are quick to seek vengeance but slow to forgive. But Philemon’s example challenges us to consider whether our faith leads us to honour Christ by forgiving others as we have been forgiven. Paul opens his letter by thanking God for Philemon’s faith in Christ and love for all saints (Philemon 1:4–5). Although Roman law gave slave masters the right to punish runaway slaves, Philemon’s faith in Christ shaped his response. Instead of seeking punishment, Paul appeals to Philemon to receive Onesimus—a slave aloose from his master—in love.
Forgiveness springs from a desire to honour the Lord.
Paul’s gentle approach shows that forgiveness springs from a desire to honour the Lord, not from compulsion. Commenting on this passage, John Calvin noted that “Paul encouraged Philemon not to be overly offended at Onesimus’s flight, since it led to Onesimus’s salvation and brought blessing to both of them.” In other words, Philemon’s faith in Christ was meant to shape his willingness to forgive, recognising God’s providence even in Onesimus’s departure, which initially seemed disruptive.
A Heart That Loves Others Forgives Others
Philemon’s love for all believers stood out in a culture that honoured power and status. Paul commended him for loving “all the saints” (Philemon 1:5), not just those who were easy to love or even accept. His love reached across differences and welcomed every believer, regardless of their past.
Forgiveness is a practical expression of love.
Thus, Paul encouraged Philemon to extend love to Onesimus by forgiving him. Matthew Henry observed, “The grace of God in the hearts of Christians shows itself in love to the brethren.” Put differently, forgiveness is a practical expression of love. Choosing to release resentment and seek restoration instead of harbouring bitterness. Our churches and communities need this kind of love. It brings people together and shows that Christ is at work among us.
Forgiveness Testifies of the Gospel of Jesus Christ
Ultimately, forgiveness displays the power of the gospel. Paul thanked God for how Philemon’s love refreshed the hearts of fellow believers (Philemon 1:7). Philemon’s faith did not remain private. It built up the church. Now Paul was urging him to express that same love in forgiving Onesimus. Forgiveness that is shaped by God’s grace makes the gospel visible.
When Christ rules our hearts, we forgive because we have been forgiven.
Charles Spurgeon wrote, “Nature is selfish, but grace is loving.” Without grace, we hold on to pride and keep score. But when Christ rules our hearts, we forgive because we have been forgiven. Paul didn’t simply want Philemon to repair a relationship; he wanted him to show that the gospel restores. Moreover, forgiveness shows that the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ has taken root in us. In divided times, few things speak louder than Christians who let go of bitterness and extend the grace they’ve received.
Forgiveness Is Costly, But God’s Grace Is Sufficient
Consider the divisions we see around us, from families torn apart to nations gripped by anger. Like Philemon, we are faced with a choice: will we hold on to debts others owe us, or will we extend grace, trusting God to bring justice and healing?
Forgiveness can be a journey, especially when the wounds are deep. Pray daily for the person who hurt you. Reflect on how Christ has forgiven you. Speak with a trusted pastor or mature Christian who can walk with you through the process.
Living Out Forgiveness
Philemon’s story shows that forgiveness starts with honouring the Lord, loving others without favouritism, and seeking to be a blessing to the community of faith. It challenges us to let go of bitterness and choose reconciliation, even when it costs us something.
Forgiveness is costly, personal, and profoundly Christian.
Forgiveness does not pretend sin never happened. Instead, it releases the debt, knowing Christ paid it fully on the cross. Like Paul urged Philemon, let us appeal to one another in love, confident that the gospel continues to transform hearts today.
As Christ has forgiven us, let us forgive others, demonstrating to a watching world that his love can heal and restore what was broken. When believers forgive, they do more than settle disputes; they also demonstrate the power of love and strengthen the body of Christ. This is not abstract theology. It’s costly, personal, and profoundly Christian.
