Parents are key players in their children’s lives. They help their children develop important life skills and become successful in the future. In the same way, spiritual parents are important for spiritual growth. Though the concept of spiritual motherhood may exist, in this article I concentrate on spiritual fatherhood, given its frequent use today as well as in the Bible. The term “spiritual father” has been misused and taken out of context by many Christians. Below I explain the terminology from a biblical point of view, so that Christians can use it correctly.
What Every Father Ought to Do
Fathers are important figures in every family. Below are just some of the key roles they play:
- Protection; the father provides security for his family, defending them from all types of intruders and enemies.
- Role modelling; he serves as an example to his children, personifying what life is all about.
- Instruction; the father is the instructor of his children and must deliberately instruct them in life skills, ethics, and the faith.
- Provision; fathers must work to support their families.
Fathers in the Faith?
You may have heard some church members in your church or another church refer to their church leader as “daddy” or “papa.” As a pastor, you may have been called this yourself. The word often has little to do with age. Occasionally, the church leader is actually younger than those calling him daddy.
Because she liked his preaching, she adopted him as her spiritual father.
One time, I visited a home where a televangelist was preaching and the lady sitting next to me told me the preacher was her spiritual father. We were in Africa; the preacher was from another continent. But because she liked his preaching, she adopted him as her spiritual father.
Some Christians call their church leaders “fathers,” convinced that those leaders are chosen by God to lead the congregation and teach the word of God. In these instances, it is a sign of respect.
All of us could probably provide similarly examples or expressions. For the purposes of this article, I’m going to bundle all of the above under the term spiritual father. So, who are they? Should we have them? Does the Bible say anything about spiritual fatherhood?
Spiritual Fathers in the Bible
The Bible is replete with the “father-son” imagery and concept (Deuteronomy 8:5; 2 Kings 6:1; Proverbs 3:11-12; Romans 8:32; Matthew 23:9). Apart from God, our heavenly father, the Bible has plenty of references to fathers—both biological and otherwise.
Paul is an example of a spiritual father.
Paul is an example of a spiritual father. It’s unlikely that Paul had a wife or children. When he was converted, he seems to have decided not to marry, but to serve the Lord as a single man (1 Corinthians 7:8). Only, Paul had people he called “sons.” Two of them, that we know of, are Timothy and Titus.
Timothy and Titus were not Paul’s biological children. He met them for the first time when they were young adults (see Acts 16). They became his disciples and co-workers. Yet he calls them his sons (1 Corinthians 4:17; 1 Timothy 1:2; Titus 1:4). There are three possible reasons why he did this:
- Titus and Timothy might have come to believe in the Lord through Paul’s ministry.
- Paul clearly mentored them, possibly even in the early days of their faith; in this way, Paul cared for them, taught them how to serve God, and guided them in ministry.
- He was older and had more knowledge or experience of both life and ministry.
Whichever of the above, or some combination of them, Timothy and Titus were Paul’s sons in spirit—or even in the Spirit. He called Timothy his “true son in the faith” (2 Timothy 1:2); and Titus his “true son in [their] common faith” (Titus 1:3). So, he was their father in the faith. Put differently, we might say he was their spiritual father. He served as their father in the matters of faith; he helped them grow and to serve God.
Lessons and a Way Forward
There’s no harm in calling your church leader “daddy” or “father,” as long as they play at least one of the roles Paul did in the lives of Timothy and Titus. Just think. Paul had many other companions: Barnabas, Priscilla, Aquila, Silas, and Tychicus. But he never calls them his sons or daughters; only Timothy and Titus.
Not every Christian leader is your spiritual father.
Therefore not every Christian leader is your spiritual father; not even every mature or older Christian leader. Nor is every bishop or pastor your spiritual father. This term describes a person who brought you to or nurtured you in the faith, witnessed to Christ and mentored you. A spiritual father will be seriously concerned with your spiritual growth, helping you live as a Christian and serve God, in all of life. Crucially, a spiritual father must be accessible. One can hardly imagine Paul never spending any time with Titus and Timothy. Therefore a spiritual father is someone you see, hear from, and interact with directly.
Therefore he can’t be someone you just watch on TV or read. Furthermore, like Paul, he should be known for his character and accountable to other leaders in the church. You can learn from everybody, perhaps. But not everybody is your spiritual father.