Marriage And Finances
The Bible says in Genesis 2:25, “The man and his wife were both naked and they felt no shame.” Now this refers to physical nakedness but we can also apply it in the realm of transparency. And especially financial transparency in the home. I find that a lot of marriages are having difficulties primarily because the husband or the wife, and sometimes both of them are playing hide and seek with respect to finances.
A lot of marriages are having difficulties primarily because the husband or the wife are playing hide and seek with respect to finances.
So, let me just quickly give you a rundown of some ten rules to help you to be transparent in the realm of finances in your marriage. And I hope when you apply these to your marriage you will have a stronger marriage bond.
It Is Not ‘My Money’ Or ‘Your Money’
First of all, although you may have two salaries coming into your home, you must remember that the money is not ‘my money’ and ‘your money’, it is ‘our money’ because you are no longer two but one as the Bible says and your money must reflect that.
Be Transparent With Your Earnings
Number two, have a joint account or ensure that you are both signatories on the accounts that you have. The reason there is quite simple, it enables you to know how much money you have because you can both peep into those accounts. And being transparent therefore begins with your ability to peep there. And if you both are in regular employment, you may even show each other your salary slips because that way anybody can see that this is what has been earned and it is also what has come into the account.
Have A Household Budget
Number three, work on a domestic budget and stick to it as much as possible. Later in your marriage you may find that you may not need these as much because you would have somehow arrived at what is necessary in order to keep your marriage going. But in the early years it’s a crutch that you really need to rest on.
Pay Those You Owe Regularly
Number four, in your marriage ensure that your budget includes taxes, tithing at church, subscriptions that you need to pay, loans and so on and so forth. It’s a bad habit to know that you owe money to other people and then you leave it out of your budget and out of your planning all together, or shove it under the any other business. That definitely is not acting in integrity. Make sure that you pay whoever you owe on a regular basis because that’s what life is meant to be.
It’s a bad habit to know that you owe money to other people and then you leave it out of your budget and out of your planning all together
Give Each Other Allowances
Number five, give each other pocket allowances so that you can spend some money each month without having to go through domestic negotiations. The pocket money should not be for transport and meals because that is necessary rather it should be for the social extras in life.
Share The Responsibilities
Number six, understand that the man is the primary bread winner while the wife is the primary bread maker. In other words, it is the responsibility of the man to ensure there is enough money in the home. While it’s also the responsibility of wife to ensure that that money is turned into food and clothing etcetera, etcetera for the home. Share out your responsibilities that way.
Only Help Others When Able To
Number seven, anyone outside the home should only be assisted as and when you are able to do so. You need to agree how much you can send to your parents or to your other needy relatives. Do not feel that you have to look after the entire extended family – that will kill your marriage.
Live A Life You Can Afford
Number eight, do not go into debts to finance a lifestyle you cannot afford. You see, get a loan in order to build a house or to buy a car. Clear that loan before you get another. In other words, be very disciplined with respect to loans. When getting a loan ensure that there is enough liquidity left for you to survive on in your domestic payments and so forth. Don’t just get loans in order to be like your friends, in order to keep up with others – that will kill you.
Always Put Money Aside
Number nine, put something aside for a rainy day and for your old age. It will rain cats and dogs one day; the best is to have some kind of investment plan or some retirement package. Avoid being a burden on your children in your old age as if you never had the opportunity to plan your own future.
Do Not Live For Money
And finally, remember, money is a good servant but it’s a very bad master. So do not live for money. Enjoy your time together in your marriage while your money serves you. If you are always quarrelling over money matters, then quickly go for marriage counselling so that you are helped to enjoy rather than to endure marriage issues.
money is a good servant but it’s a very bad master. So do not live for money.
Let me get back to where I began, the Bible says, ‘The man and his wife were both naked and they felt no shame.’ And I said yes, it was primarily about physical nakedness but it should be true in every area. We must be transparent with one another in marriage and especially with respect to finances. Let me ask, are you transparent with your spouse over issues of money? If you are not, deal with it now; whatever it is that’s making you ashamed of opening up to your spouse over money. Make sure there is complete transparency.
