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God’s Faithfulness in my Struggles as a Dad // Gareth Maggs

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“So, when our child was born one of the things that happened was as the doctor was delivering the child he did this thing where he delivered her – but it was so quick! He pulled her out and just dropped the baby on the mother. And I don’t know why he did that! But it was so quick and at that moment I just… like, I freaked out! I properly freaked out.

I’m Somebody’s Dad

I can’t put my finger on it. It probably was the fact that at that moment I realised that my whole life was gonna change. My identity was that I was no longer a man in Christ, I was a Dad in Christ! And that freaked me out. It could have been other things as well. I think it could have been that my time was no longer gonna be my own. My… It could have been a million things! The point was that I felt like my whole world was upside down and I freaked. And that left me in a state of numbness.

I was no longer a man in Christ, I was a Dad in Christ! And that freaked me out.

For a few weeks after that I remembered just questioning whether I really loved my child. And it didn’t help the fact that there were nights when we had sleepless nights. It didn’t help when we didn’t know what we were doing! We still don’t. And it didn’t help that sometimes both Lauren and I, my wife, weren’t in a good mood and we would basically frustrate each other! And it can be tense.

I was Blind to God’s Blessings

I remember because of the tension sometimes I would go to the office and when you are in a good mood small things don’t frustrate you. But when you are suffering, sometimes the smallest thing can just push you over the edge. I realised that sometimes when we struggle we get so consumed with our suffering that we can’t see the small things that the Lord is doing. We can’t see the things that he’s given us.

When we struggle we get so consumed with our suffering that we can’t see the small things that the Lord is doing. We can’t see the things that he’s given us.

There were so many people. I think… I think on one day we had about 15 people coming to visit us at the hospital. And although I saw those people, I didn’t really see those people. We must have had at least over 200 people praying for us. And although I would look at my phone and see all the messages saying people are praying, I didn’t see the people praying. And… I mean we were given so many things that I barely had to buy stuff for my child. But I didn’t see the people giving these things. Instead, I got angry at the Lord.

Remember the Cross

There are times in our lives where we might be going through the most intense suffering, but we just don’t see what the Lord is doing. We don’t see his faithfulness. And the thing that we… the major thing that we don’t see, probably the most important thing that we don’t see, is we don’t see the cross. We don’t see the fact that God actually came and died for us. Because if you see the cross you cannot deny just how loving this God really is.

If you see the cross you cannot deny just how loving this God really is.