Dear Christian brother,
I think it’s about time we had a chat,
That time has come when I feel the need to say to you
The things that social propriety denies me the opportunity to.
Dear Christian brother,
I beg you hear from me in the context of family.
I beg you lend me your ears.
Despite our differences of biology, circumstance and opinion,
My heart longs for the family that we should be.
Dear Christian brother,
Allow me the luxury of speaking plainly,
Things I would not normally be invited to say to you.
Speaking the truth in love,
This is not my judgement upon you or your personhood.
I beg your courage in hearing me out.
Dear single Christian brother,
I am tired,
Tired of how you undress me with your eyes as I walk by,
And talk to my chest instead of meeting my eyes,
Unprotected from your gaze by the mantle of marriage.
I am tired of your eyes roving across my person,
Like a man dying of thirst in the dessert.
I have become used to this in the world out there,
I have accepted this objectification in my places of work and play,
But when you subject me to the same,
My heart dies a little inside.
Each time I catch your sidelong glances,
I lose a little more faith in my brothers.
I have no expectations of the world,
But I had hoped for more from you.
The manhood that God speaks of in the Bible
Is this beautiful picture of love and protection,
Honour and courage,
Christ-like selflessness.
I know you are sinful and broken, just like me,
But I beg of you,
Fix your eyes on Jesus and take them off of me.
I am not an object made for the pleasure of your eyes,
The dark corners of your mind.
I see your lust,
And it leads me down a dark path too.
Dear single Christian brother,
When you assess me from afar,
Weighing me on the weight scales of your propriety,
Judging me good enough to receive the attentions of your prying eyes,
But not good enough to pursue with godly purpose.
Deciding I’m too dark, too short,
Too qualified, too independent, too opinionated, too controlling,
Too much for you to handle.
I beg your pardon,
But how did you decide I was these things?
Was it when you spent time getting to know me as you pursued me with purpose
Or was it that you listened to sixth hand opinions and drew a flurry of conclusions based on biased assumptions.
These presumptions that you have projected onto my person,
Say more about you than they do about me.
Dear married Christian brother,
Please stop looking at me with terror in your eyes.
I didn’t choose this life,
Where I am, is in the will of God’s purposes for my life.
My goal is not to be a temptation in your life.
If your wife doesn’t trust you around me,
That’s on you, not on me.
As a daughter of God,
I know that God’s plan for my life,
Will never be another woman’s husband!
If you find yourself lusting after me,
Check your heart,
While you judge my conduct or dress code.
Dear brother in Christ,
Know that I am fighting my own battle,
Just as you are.
Know that I too struggle with lust and unanswered questions
Wound around unfulfilled hopes.
Know that as your sister in Christ
I long for relationship with you,
Unfettered by all these presumptions.
Dare to see me as a fellow soldier in this uphill battle against sin,
Toiling beside you to overcome until the return of our Lord.
As steel sharpens steel, call me out when I sin,
I am willing to hear your wisdom.
Treat me with respect and kindness
And I will return this to you tenfold.
Be courageous in hearing me when I try to commune with you.
Just like you long to be seen, acknowledged and heard,
I do too.
Dear Christian Brother (C) 2018 Moushumi Ann Mathews
