I write on impatience with some fear and trembling. I’m too familiar with it in my own life. My weaknesses in this area are no secret. The times I’ve been impatient with situations and people, including my own dear wife and children, are innumerable. As I write, scenes of my own impatience flash in my mind. From being in traffic to waiting at the bank, even doing homework with my children, impatience is a real struggle; it’s a common vice in my own life. If you’re honest, the same is true for you.
The problem is we easily justify impatience. When I’m impatient with slow drivers or bank tellers I can convince myself that I’m completely in the right. Time is money, after all. And they’re wasting mine. So I tell myself. Or when I’m irritable with the weaknesses or failings of a loved one, my sinful tendency is to think I’m helping them be better and more responsible.
Impatience comes from a lack of love, since love is patient.
But we should never try to excuse impatience. Instead we should readily repent of it and pursue patience. Impatience should never be tolerated among believers. For it directly opposes the gospel message. How? Paul says it comes from a lack of love, since love is patient (1 Corinthians 13:4). Patience, furthermore, is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). A main thread holding together the new clothes we’ve put on in Christ is meant to be patience (Colossians 3:12; Ephesians 4:1-2).
Therefore, cultivating patience should be a daily pursuit. Christians should desire and aim for patience, developing it while also putting impatience to death. Below I offer four ways we do that.
1. Turn to God in Prayer
Firstly, we should pray for it constantly. “You do not have, because you do not ask” (James 4:2). When tempted to be impatient with people or situations, say a quick prayer for patience. It might go like this: ‘Lord I am being tempted to be impatient. But grant me the grace to be patient in this situation for your own glory.’
Memorise scripture that reminds you of the importance of patience.
It’s also a great help to memorise scripture that reminds us of the importance of patience, so that we can quickly turn them over in our prayers when tempted to be irritable. Consider Proverbs 14:29, “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.”
2. Make Yourself Accountable
Second, ask loved ones, especially your spouse and children, to regularly feedback on how you’re doing in the cultivation of patience. Undoubtedly this step requires a lot of humility. We don’t always like this sort of feedback. But it’s a great strategy. Furthermore, don’t let your pride get in the way of learning patience.
If you ask for feedback, make up your mind and promise others that you won’t take it personally. Holding each other accountable is a way of loving each other, training each other in godliness.
Don’t let your pride get in the way of learning patience.
I believe that marriage and family are means that the Lord uses to sanctify us. The loving and respectful relationship of husband and wife and the loving and honest relationship of parents with their children can therefore be a great aid in granting us victory over impatience.
3. Pursue All the Fruit of the Spirit
Third, cultivating patience comes alongside the cultivation of other biblical virtues. It isn’t an independent quality. For example, in Ecclesiastes 7:8b patience is connected to humility. It also goes hand in hand with self-control (Proverbs 16:22). As we’ve already seen, patience is inseparable from true love (1 Corinthians 13:4), which is likely why Paul lists it along with the virtues of love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness (Galatians 5:22-23).
Patience isn’t an independent quality.
Just like a garden is made beautiful by different varieties of flowers, the Christian’s life glorifies God more when patience flourishes alongside other biblical virtues.
4. Fix Your Eyes on Christ
Fourth, let us fix our gaze on the author and perfecter of our faith, Jesus Christ (Hebrews 12:1-2). The author of Hebrews concludes his epistle with a clarion call for holiness. He urges us to fix our eyes on Christ because it is through him that we become holy.
By fixing our eyes on Christ we’re able to patiently endure difficult situations.
The most patient person who ever lived on this earth was Jesus Christ. Like his Father, Christ is the long-suffering one (Exodus 34:5-6). He is the true, fullest, and clearest embodiment of patience. His teaching was often misunderstood or even rejected (John 6:60-66). And Jesus’ disciples were slow to learn many things (Luke 24:25; Matthew 17:17). Yet Jesus was patient with them.
It is by fixing our eyes on Christ that we too are able to patiently endure difficult situations and people and extend grace to those who need it. It’s also by fixing our eyes on Christ that when we stumble or fall in our pursuit of this virtue, we are able to rise again by confessing and repenting of our sin.
Heed the Challenge Within the Gospel Comfort
As I confessed at the beginning, I have written this post with fear and trembling. I’m not where I would love to be in as far as the biblical virtue of patience is concerned. Maybe you can identify that. So we should be thankful that the Lord is always faithful, even when we aren’t (2 Timothy 2:13).
Be thankful that the Lord is always faithful, even when we aren’t.
May we also be encouraged to remember that he has promised to sanctify and present us blameless before his glorious presence (1 Thessalonians 5:24; Jude 24). Therefore let’s work hard at becoming more patient as the Lord works in us to will and obey (Philippians 2:12-13).
