Polygamy is a form of marriage in which an individual has many spouses. While this practice is deemed both religious and cultural in Africa, not everyone endorses it. For example, Prince Mangosuthu Buthelezi hails from a culture that encourages polygamy, yet he chose monogamy. I offer this case to suggest that polygamy is an individual choice rather than a cultural or religious obligation. Like Buthelezi, many other Zulu men reject polygamy. Admittedly, polygamy has historical and cultural precedent. But this doesn’t justify it. Nor, in my opinion, does it cover up the fact that polygamy is a human attempt to legitimise our adulterous hearts, to defend adultery.
Our Lord designed marriage to be both permanent and monogamous.
My purpose for this article is simple, and I’ve already alluded to it. Considering a question aimed at Jesus, I want to highlight that our Lord designed marriage to be both permanent and monogamous. This is grounded in creation. Every adjustment since – whether the well-attested practice of polygamy or more recent and radical denials of marriage – are the results of sin and not God’s design.
Hard Hearts Deform Marriage
Let’s consider the exchange between Jesus and the Pharisees or religious leaders of his day, in Matthew 19:3-9.
“Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause? Jesus answered, ‘Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.’
Jesus points the Pharisees back to the creation order.
The Pharisees responded, “‘Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and send her away?’ He said to them, ‘Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.'”
The matter discussed is divorce. However, in answering that question Jesus points the Pharisees back to the creation order. This is a good place to turn concerning matters of sex and marriage. While making the profound statement that God permitted divorce because of Israel’s hardness of heart, Jesus teaches us something fundamental about marriage. That point would’ve stung the Pharisees, who assumed divorce as a given. For Jesus tears down what would’ve been a widely held belief: no-fault divorce. And many believers would do well to recover this, but that’s for another article.
God’s Vision for Marriage: Permanent, Monogamous
Conversations concerning divorce in Jesus’ time were controversial and divisive. The Pharisees had formed two separate schools around the issue, which is probably partly behind them approaching Jesus with their question. Turning to Jesus wasn’t so much them seeking understanding but a thinly veiled attempt to draw him into that controversy; maybe even to catch him out.
Jesus doesn’t take the bait. Instead he draws up some fundamental points concerning marriage:
- God’s intent for marriage is between one biological male and one biological woman.
- Marriage creates a “one flesh” union, a lifetime commitment between two people.
- Mankind isn’t permitted to adjust the institution to suit themselves, because it was created by God.
Strikingly, Jesus doesn’t answer the question by choosing a side, which would’ve tacitly approved of divorce. No. Neither the law of the land nor cultural norms determine his view of marriage. God’s creation design does. Though he doesn’t make it explicit, Jesus is also indirectly showing that Old Testament polygamy isn’t a validation of the practice; just as the widely held view of divorce didn’t overturn God’s permanent, monogamous vision for marriage and sex.
Neither the law of the land nor cultural norms determine Jesus’ view of marriage. God’s creation design does.
In 1 Corinthians 10:23, Paul writes: “All things are lawful, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful, but not all things build up.” That verse fits here. Just because countless marriages end in divorce, God doesn’t condone the practice. Returning to the topic of this article, just because polygamy has historical, cultural, and religious precedent on the continent, that doesn’t mean God endorses it.
What’s Really Behind an Insistence on Polygamy?
There is no biblical case for polygamy. God doesn’t excuse our attempts to redefine, distort, and ultimately destroy the marriage institution he made.
Failing that, many African men turn to the excuses for taking on a second or third spouse beyond their first, to:
- Assist the first wife with chores or work in the fields.
- Bear children in the case of barrenness of the first wife.
- Increase the chances of male children if the first wife only bears daughters.
- Track with his social status, for example becoming a village headman allows for multiple wives.
- Follow advice from family elders to cover up promiscuity and resultant cheating allegations against an existing spouse or spouses.
Polygamy is a way for men to dress up their adulterous hearts.
However, I think there is a reason behind all of these excuses; it’s one that few men will outright admit. It’s the same reason that stood behind Israel’s readiness to practice divorce. What is that? Hard and wayward hearts that are unfulfilled and therefore uncommitted to their marriage. Behind polygamy is the desire to have multiple sexual partners. In a word, polygamy is a way for men to dress up their adulterous hearts.
