“God can’t be real. Because if he was, I wouldn’t have spent the last year in a hospital.” “If God is good, why is there the burden of sickness and disease everywhere I look?” These words and phrases will be familiar to many readers; if you’re like me, you’ve even found them on your own lips, in your own heart. This may be because of a chronic illness, as it is in my case; after the loss of a loved one; or simply through observing the great evils perpetuated in our world. We grow angry and bitter towards our merciful God, when all he desires is to comfort us in our affliction (2 Corinthians 1:4-5).
Two Ways to Suffer
I have lived with Celiac Disease for about 16 years now. This has meant me frequently getting sick; countless doctor’s visits; and, over the past two years, four hospitalisations. This led to many times of prayer, asking God to heal me. But he never did. I realised I have just two options in my situation. I could choose to either be an embittered, cynical person; or to have a faith rooted in God’s love for me, regardless of my circumstances.
It wasn’t that God couldn’t heal me, but because he didn’t.
In hindsight, if I’m honest, I was the former for years. Because my suffering didn’t end with God healing me, I became angry towards God, even cold-hearted. I was angry because this God could heal me in a matter of seconds. Only he wouldn’t. It wasn’t that he couldn’t, but because he didn’t. This resentment simmered and spilt over, until I stopped only looking to God for the gift of healing. I needed reminding. For God sent his beloved Son to die and suffer like us, so that now he sympathises with us in our suffering (Hebrews 2:18). When we aren’t healed we can look to Jesus who wasn’t spared. He can comfort us.
When God Doesn’t Heal
When God doesn’t heal us, it isn’t because we’ve done something wrong. It isn’t because he doesn’t love us. It is because sometimes his love is far greater than what we can comprehend. Every circumstance God places us into is meant for good. As John Piper says, “Every millisecond of your pain—from fallen nature or fallen man—every millisecond of your misery in the path of obedience is producing a peculiar glory you will get because of that suffering.”
It doesn’t mean God isn’t at work.
Our lives belong to him, whether you’re lying in a hospital bed or serving within your local church. No matter where we are, we are to always worship Jesus with our hands held high. Furthermore, when God doesn’t heal us it doesn’t mean he isn’t at work. Here are three things we can know and cling to when we aren’t healed.
1. It Proves the Genuineness of Faith
We love God for who he is, not just for what he offers.
Often, I’ve been asked: “Why would you choose Jesus when he won’t heal you?” My answer to that question is usually, “I didn’t choose God for his gifts. I chose the giver himself. All and any gifts come as a bonus.” The child of God loves him for his character and person, not just for his miracle-working power. Therefore even when we go unhealed, we can nevertheless still praise God. In the midst of our groans and pain we can still worship Jesus. But only if we love him for who he is, not just for what he offers (James 1:2-3).
2. It Points Us to God’s Astounding Grace
Pain and suffering slowly but surely deepen our understanding of God’s overflowing grace. For through it we may know that his grace is continuously sufficient for us (2 Corinthians 12:9). As Matt Chandler writes, “God gives you the grace when you need it, not always before.”
We are able to rest in the abundance of his grace and mercy, which is far greater than any sickness we may face (Romans 8:38-39). As this happens, the world will observe terrible darkness without despair. And shining in that darkness people will see the glorious love of Christ, glowing red hot with hope.
3. It Prepares Us to Comfort Others
As we experience Christ’s comfort, as his embrace carries us through, we learn how to be a blessing to others (2 Corinthians 1:4-5). When we stand firm in sickness we become a pillar, both for God’s glory and to support fellow sufferers. Even though you may not be able to stand up and preach on a Sunday or lead the worship team, God can use you. In immense ways. As Joni Eareckson Tada puts it, “The greatest good suffering can do for me is to increase my capacity for God.” God might not heal you, but that doesn’t mean you’re incapacitated; in fact, the opposite is true.
When we stand firm we become a pillar, both for God’s glory and to support fellow sufferers.
For example, I wouldn’t be writing this article if God healed me. Around the world are countless people suffering with illness. Theirs may look different to mine, and yours, but through suffering God prepares us to be an inspiration and comfort to them. I know that sometimes by merely smiling at others, and reminding them that God is good, I can minister to them. This is only by the mighty hand of God on my life. By not healing me, God has equipped me in the shadows of illness to serve others who feel blinded by the dark.
In God’s providence and drawing from his infinite well of grace, my suffering can be a gift to others.
Grace Upon Grace
Chronic illness opens two doors. The first leaves you in ruins. The other looks up from the ruins to God. Only the second is restored and rebuilt. Don’t let your illness go to waste. Let God use it. Don’t let your heart stay in the place of anger and bitterness. Instead let God restore you, and others, through your sickness. Make your life and faith into a testament of how God works everything for our good (Romans 8:28). In the difficulty of serious illness and chronic suffering one tends to go from medication to medication. But we can also receive grace upon grace (John 1:16).
