Have you found yourself away from ‘home’, isolated from the people, things and familiarities that offer you a sense of belonging and security in this world? Have you caught yourself watching time drift away as you long for a new season of life when you can settle your feet and belong? When I have moved not just countries, but even cities or neighbourhoods, I have found myself reflecting on the truth that not belonging is in fact the greatest blessing.
My Loss and Illusion of Belonging
I lived under the illusion that my belonging came from fitting in with what I knew, with whom I knew. I allowed the loss of those familiarities and the feeling of fitting in, to make me feel that I no longer belonged. As Dr Brene Brown says: “Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us. Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, but often barriers to it.”
I have found myself reflecting on the truth that not belonging was in fact the greatest blessing.
All of the things I believed deemed me worthy of belonging were hollow and I found myself empty. I believed I needed to fit in, be just like everyone around me and have all my familiar comforts. Slowly I had to learn to look at my own attitude and behaviour. I had to choose to renew my mind and walk humbly with Jesus.
Finding Our Place in His Secure, Sovereign Hands
How do we come face to face with our false sense of belonging, and move forward with confidence day to day? How do we rest in this truth when we feel as if we are living in the hands of HR departments and immigration officials?
We need to look away from the world and into his living word. As Jesus’ half brother writes: “Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit’— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that” (James 4:13–15).
We need to look away from the world and into his living word.
In the book of James we find wisdom that speaks to those of us living in migrant limbo. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but he does. We just need to seek his face, day by day. This is why Jesus exhorts us, saying: “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:19-21).
We find our security in him, by feasting day by day in his word, in his people, in the small, beautiful details he places in our lives. If only we would open our eyes and look for them. Then, whilst we are waiting for that next home move, work permit, contract and even a new friend, we can continue living with our unchanging God: planting the trees, deepening the relationships, trusting that we have all we need, just in knowing him and making him the treasure of our heart.
Finding Wisdom in His Ways
Therefore, when we are walking closely with God, seeking His face in all we do, we can use the wisdom that He has given us to make right choices. We can trust that he guides us. Proverbs 9:10 tells us that, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.” We need to seek His face daily. We need to know him. Then we can trust that he sends the friends when we need them. We can trust that he gives us solitary seasons in order that we can give him our full attention.
Having been washed by the astounding grace of the cross, praise God, my citizenship is in heaven.
A quote from Kate Motaung’s book, A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging, really resonated with me. Kate, an American, found herself living in South Africa, grappling with this very issue of belonging. She writes: “Then finally, I understood. This whole life is a rental. This whole body of mine is a borrowed house. And sometimes it’s a good thing to be discontent with where we are, because this is not it. It’s a good thing to feel like we’re not at home and to long for another, for permanence, for stability, because we’re not home yet. Having been washed by the astounding grace of the cross, praise God, my citizenship is in heaven (Philippians 3:20).”
Finding My Home in Eternity
It is a time of learning to live each day for him, sacrificing self, learning to savour the daily bread. We are in our fifth year in Zambia, and my security now truly rests in the salvation I received by his grace, and in his promise of eternity yet to come. My security is not in the retirement policy, land or bricks and mortar, things that can be snatched away by fallen economies or broken people.
My security isn’t in the things that can be snatched away by fallen economies or broken people.
No, my security is in him. It’s in his promises, his love. Living in a semi state of limbo as a migrant has made me see how life here in this world is temporary. As Christians we are living and eagerly awaiting our new life in eternity with him. We can hold loosely in our hands the things of this world: homes, jobs, material possessions and even our loved ones, because we can trust in the knowledge that he holds all of it, and all of us, in his hands.
Lay Yourselves Down, Right Where You Are
God holds all of it, and all of us, in his hands.
Like me, you may have found yourself in a new neighbourhood, city or country. You may have found yourself with an expectation of belonging, yet you have found yourself adrift. I pray that no matter what your circumstances, you will be able to humbly lay yourself at His feet. I pray that you will lift your eyes to the heavens and know that he is your unchanging, loving God. It is he who anchors you and longs to welcome you to your forever home with Him, in eternity. This is our true place of belonging.
Finally, whilst I had rekindled my sense of belonging and identity first and foremost in Christ, through stepping boldly into a new and unknown Christian community, I also found a village to help me grow as child of God.
