In the popular imagination of Africa by outsiders, an enduring “truth” is that Africans have lots of children; that the average African family is large. However, the reality of large, fecund families is fast becoming a thing of the past. Especially among the educated, city-dwelling Africans that I live among in Lagos. I have often joked that it seems we’ve applied Paul’s advice on tongues in 1 Corinthians 14:27 to family planning: only two or three kids at most.
We’ve applied Paul’s advice on tongues to family planning: only two or three kids at most.
Whenever I ask people in my circles why they decided to have small families, I get mixed responses. Some say school fees, by which they mean the costs of education is now so high that only a fool or a rich person will have many. Others say stress, referencing the difficulties of raising children in the modern world without the traditional African support system of the extended family. Yet others look at me incredulously. It’s almost as if they wonder: why would anyone want to have many children?
Our World Increasingly Views Children as a Burden
Behind all the rationalising, it seems to me that there is an unspoken assumption that is driving this behaviour change. It’s the belief that children are a burden. Yes, everyone will agree they bring benefits. But, ultimately, it seems we largely believe that the burden side of the equation outweighs the benefits side.
The Bible unambiguously presents children as a blessing from God.
It is this unspoken—usually unexamined—assumption that I will address in this article. The Bible doesn’t prescribe how many children anyone should have. Yet the Bible unambiguously presents children as a blessing from God. Large families are a blessing; a gift from God. One psalmist calls them heritage and reward from the Lord (Psalm 127:3). “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them” (Psalm 127:4-5).
Below are four ways that children are a practical blessing to believers.
1. Longterm, Joyful Sanctification
Every parent will agree that one of the greatest agents of maturity that God has sovereignly brought their way is their children. They undermine self-centredness, forcing you to think not primarily about yourself but them and their needs. The teach you to accommodate others. Children cultivate considerateness.
Children are a sanctifying blessing, both in the present and for the future.
If you ask older people about their most significant achievements in life, they’re likely to list raising children among them. If you ask them what is currently bringing them joy, they’re very likely to list the achievements of their kids or grandkids before their own. In a sense we can say that children are the extension of the lives of their parents and grandparents. Thus they bring joy to people in their old age. God does call them “the crown of the aged” (Proverbs 17:6). You only need to watch a grandparent to be convinced of this.
That they often take care of their parents when they’re old, is the cycles of life designed by God. Children are a sanctifying blessing, both in the present and for the future.
2. Raising Children Raises Leadership Abilities
Those who have learned to serve needy children will understand what it takes to serve the people of God.
I believe raising children is a profound learning ground for leadership. This is, in my opinion, why Paul added the ability to manage a household in the list of requirements for eldership in the church (1 Timothy 3:5). Raising children is a training ground for leadership in the church. Those who have learned to serve needy children will understand what it takes to serve the people of God.
3. Multigenerational Churches are Best
Thirdly, churches need children. Without them there can be no kids’ ministry, which provide important opportunities for adults to serve in your local church. Many of these adults would otherwise be disengaged from the life of the church. More importantly, children’s ministry ensures that teachers face the difficulty of explaining the gospel to young hearts and minds. This forces a deeper understanding, the prerequisite to any simple gospel presentation. In turn, this equips people for evangelism elsewhere.
We must catechise and train children within the church. It’s always our prayer that they too would come to know God.
Throughout the past two millennia, the gospel has grown through families; through discipleship at home. Parents pass on their faith. God expects them to. This isn’t to suggest we stop preaching to the world or evangelising our neighbours. We must never stop praying for converts and gospel opportunities with colleagues and friends. Yet the church must also be inwardly focused. We must catechise and train children within the church. It’s always our prayer that they too would come to know the God of their parents.
So another psalmist wrote: “We will not hide them from their children but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done” (Psalm 78:4). “He commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments” (Psalm 78:6-7).
4. Children Create Community
Finally, vibrant and organic communities are built around children. I’ve met more of my neighbours because of my kids than any other way. When your child is invited to a party, it typically ends up as two parties: one for the kids and another party for the adults. It’s an excellent way to get to know people outside the church and build relationships.
I’ve met more of my neighbours because of my kids than any other way.
Many years ago when I studied in Europe, I struck up a friendship with a Cameroonian researcher working at the same university. He hadn’t been home for over a decade. But while I was there he was able to go home, visiting Cameroon. When he returned, I asked him what stood out back home. His response was, “there were children everywhere, the whole place was noisy, vibrant and alive.” That’s the blessing that children bring to a society.
Have More Kids
I thank you for reading this far. You may not have been convinced by my reasoning. But I would be satisfied even if this article simply makes you check your heart to see your convictions around children. Do you consider them a blessing? If yes, then why don’t you join me in commending them to everyone you meet and asking them to consider having as many children as possible?
