“The scene replays in my head. Day after day and night after night.
I was only sixteen but I thought I knew it all.
And in my knowing I disobeyed my mother, sneaked out the house, went to a friend’s place and had a few too many.
I yearned to be loved. But I looked for love in the wrong places.
I wanted people to tell me I’m beautiful. To tell me I’m worth something.
Then this guy came along. He said the right things to me. Whispered sweet nothings into my ear. Reassured me, told me I’m the most beautiful girl in the world.
I believed.
And then, he was gone.
Like a vapour, nowhere to be found. He left me with an untimely gift. Next thing, I was pregnant.
The first thing that went through my mind was, “Should I abort? Should I give up the baby for adoption? No, I’ll go with the first option. It’s the easiest, no one will ever know. It’s my body, it’s my mess so I’ll take care of it.” So, there.
Sixteen and already contemplating killing a child.
A child in my womb. Probably the foetus had been alive for a few weeks. So, they had ears and they had eyes and limbs and even a heartbeat. And yet I wanted to kill them.
I wanted to take care of the situation. Since no one was there to help me, I didn’t know any better! I thought, seeing all those abortion posters everywhere you go, that that was the norm.
So, I’d be another number. Another girl who just goes to those backyard doctors’ rooms; just takes care of it.
I realised a moment of pleasure is a lifetime of misery. That was a showcase for me.
Life was hard, life was rough.
People looked at me as if I had a disease. My sweet sixteen turned into the worst nightmare I could ever dream of.
But I am glad I didn’t become another statistic, I am glad that the life that was inside of me was preserved.
I often wonder, what would life be like if I had not given up the baby for adoption? I wonder… If I had someone to caution me against the perils of this world… I wonder if there are girls in my position right now.
I know many don’t make it out alive.
So, I plead with you, don’t turn your backs on girls like me thrown in the bin and forgotten. I plead with you, don’t turn your back on girls like me.”
Video kindly made available by NOMAD
_________________________________________
If you would like to speak to a counsellor about an unplanned pregnancy or abortion you can reach out to the Pregnancy Help Centre at Jubilee Community Church here
